Tag Archives: Love

Daily Life, Inspiration, Spirit

Seva, Selfless Service

” The idea of selfless service (seva also sewa) is an important concept in most Indian religions and yogic traditions. Because God is perceived as having a relationship with others, as well as oneself, serving other people is considered an essential devotional practice of indirectly serving God. Service to make life easier for others”

Seva, a concept of service I learned at my church and has actually been serving me lately.  I have found myself in the position frequently the last few months of needing to serve others.  Of needing to put another’s needs in front of mine, of needing to (while not quite sacrifice) at least, put someone else’s problems in front of my own pleasures.

The most recent one occurred this last weekend.  My son had some car problems during the week which I tried to help him and I ended up just lending my truck to him, essentially leaving myself walking or staying home.  His needs were just more urgent than mine.  If you have been following you know I done much to help my sister and family these last couple of months.   And recently some almost resentment has crept in.

Now I am human and no angel and certainly not a martyr.  I like to take care of myself and make sure I have what I need to enjoy my days.  But I also love my people and want to help them.  There are fine lines and sometimes they get blurred.  I started to go to a place that stopped the easy flow of giving and turn it into something forced or resented.

Then I remembered Seva, selfless service.  And that was a gift for me.  I was able to step back into service because I started using it as a path to Spirit.  And everything changed.  My attitude changed,  life became easier, I had more joy, and the service I am  giving has more impact.  By removing any thoughts of resentment, stress or selfishness I am able to give with Love.  And what is given with Love can be received with Love.  The action, the service, will flow easily into good and all parties benefit.   And I am blessed with serving God.  Because anything I do for any being, I do for the The Beloved.

So the next time you are called step into Seva.  It changes everything.  You get to have a Spiritual experience and help someone all in the same moment. Isn’t that why we are here?

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Relationships

Truth or Love?

Truth or Love? I took one of the those little tests today on Facebook and one of the questions was ” what is most important to you?”  There was a list of 5 or 6 things but I easily discarded most of them. And then I was down to Truth or Love and all of a sudden it was not so easy.

I am all about love, so immediately I was headed to love, but truth kept nudging me.  Really, do I pick love over truth?  Is there even love without truth?  Is that love?  Can I love someone without being honest?  Is that respectful?  Does it honor the other person?  Do I want to be loved without honesty?  I think not.  Or do I?  Do we have to say every little thing?  Couldn’t we just love each other knowing that sometimes we get to not say or share every piece of our thoughts.  Is that the kinder, gentler way?

Maybe it is a chicken or the egg question.  Which comes first love or truth?  Do I have to have love for someone to trust them enough for honesty?  Does someone have to love me to feel safe enough to show their true self?  Or do I start from a place of honesty and move into love from there, being open and vulnerable?  Does another’s honesty give me the room to love them?  Does being honest and open allow another to love me, the real me?

I think of people that I love, they do not know all about me.  No one knows all the sides of me.  Is that dishonest or just me giving each person the piece of me that fits them?  I have not found the person where all my pieces fit.  I am a sister, a mother, a friend, a lover, a relation and more.  All of these roles are filled with love for another.  But they are all different and no two loves are the same.  They all love me, but differently.  Each of these wonderful past and present relationships have brought great lessons and great love.  But I would not say every relationship has been completely honest on either side.

So I want to know the truth, I do not want to be fooled, tricked and lied to. But  temper the honesty with love and compassion.  Take the route that gives us both room to breathe and room to love.  Show me the real you, I will show you me.  But you and I get to keep our very souls and our thoughts and our minds.  Those are sacred to our being and belong to only us.

Truth or love…..I choose love.  How about you?

 

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Relationships

Attachment 101 part II; Love

How attached am I to your view of me?  How much does that view affect my self love? And why do hold on to this attachment?  Questions in my homework tonight….

I try to hold my view and assessment of myself separate from how the world at large sees me, even how my friends see me.  But do I succeed?  Not really. I know I judge myself according to what you think.  Not all the time, not in every way but it does matter.  If you think I am good, well I feel a little better. And if you think I am bad or wrong I feel a little worse.  I can work my out of it but it is not automatic. And when its good, well I just take it, so your opinion overrides my own.  And that is not ok. My opinion should be enough.

We grow up this way.  Pleasing mommy and daddy and the teachers and our playmates.  Be nice, be kind, don’t be loud, don’t speak your mind.  There’s a good girl, we like you this way. You blend right in, society likes that.  A man will want you, a man will love you, then you will matter. We twist ourselves into something else to be loved.    No one ever told me to love myself.  A lot of people told me they loved me, but all of them had conditions around that.  They loved when… they loved me if…   they loved me because…. And I attached myself to their opinions, to be worthy of love.

I am just as guilty.  I love you because… I love you when….I love you if you love me, that is a big one.  We make that agreement with another.  Does that feel real?  At that moment yes, but at some point the masks come off.  But we do it, we all want to be loved, probably more than we want to love.  And then love becomes a commodity and we have to earn it.  And we have to dance just right to keep it.  They could take it away and then what? What’s left?

Maybe what is left is self love, where we should have started.  The love that is our birthright.  Our first love, our self.  If we love ourselves without the conditions and the judgement maybe we can be free to love others the same way.  I would like to do that.  The closest I come is my son and my sister. I simply love them. They do not have to dance for my love.  I just love them soul to soul.  Can I take that feeling and love myself?  Can I take that feeling and love another? I would like to, I am working on it.   First love myself, and then clearly, cleanly and unconditionally be able to love another.

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