Attachment has been coming up a lot for me this week. Attachment to things, situations, relationships, all kinds of things. It seems like each time I check out Facebook there is some kind of quote on attachment. Attachment reminders are all around me these days.
I keep wanting things to stay the same, it is like safety net in some ways. For instance, I had a possession that I have been holding on to for awhile. Even though I didn’t really treasure it, I always thought well, if I ever need it…… But this last week it was taken out of my hands. I let someone else make a decision around it. I gave that person instructions about letting go of it and she disregarded that and made her own choice. Before I knew it, it was gone. At first I was taken aback, but then I thought a different way. The clinging to it, the attachment was gone. Not by my hand, but maybe that is the way it had to happen. Because I felt a little freer. Like I could not quite make that choice, so the Universe made it for me.
I have a relationship in my life I am attached to. And I can see some shifting around that. I might have to let it go. I don’t really want to, it brings me joy and pleasure. But some things have happened around the relationship which may bring it an end. Is that Life’s way of saying “let go”? I am not sure yet, but I at least have to look at it.
A feeling of aversion or attachment toward something is your clue that there’s work to be done…….Ram Dass
I have to listen to those signs. What is coming into my awareness? When I am sleeping (even though awake) it is easy for me to pass by the clues that I don’t really want to see. If I see, hear or feel something, but disregard it, that does not mean it is not real. It means that I choose not to acknowledge it because it challenged my attachment. The more I am attached to something the less awake I am to change and growth.
Because I am awakening it is harder for me to ignore the signs along the path. And more and more I know everything means something. All kinds of signals come my way. I heard what you said, I saw the sign, I felt the wrongness in my stomach. I knew it felt bad, I could feel the loss of personal power and choice. Because I am attached to the idea, the belief, the person, the possession. the safety, the status quo, the past, my story I disregard the signals.
I am attached to so much, and does it serve me? Only to a point. When attachment impedes my growth it is not serving me. When attachment holds space in my life keeping out newness it does not serve me. When attachment keeps me feeling safe, that is an illusion. When I am attached to an outcome that is a set up for frustration and disappointment.
So can I let go and let life happen? I want to. I did this week, a baby step. I let go of a possession that I had been clinging to . And I did it gracefully. After a small feeling of shock and feeling an empty spot, i let go. I even said thank you to the Universe for helping me dis attach. The relationship? I am not sure yet, but at least I am willing to look with fresh eyes. To not cling blindly and without thought. I may make a choice which seems the same on the outside but has been made from a different mindset.
Sometimes I confuse attachments with love. It is easy to do. Both have similar feelings for me. But they go down very different paths, and that is the trick, staying on the path of love. Not straying off into attachment. Because attachments have expectation around the outcome, and often those are not met. For instance, I love my son. Simply love him. But I do have some attachments around that. Way less that I used too, but I am attached to the idea he loves me back. I am attached to the idea he will stay in my life. I love him clearly, without judgement, without needing to change him, without wanting to control him. The attachments I have are around how I want our relationship to play out. And I have to keep that separate in my mind. When I become frustrated or hurt, this is not about the love, this is about the attachment. And the attachment keeps me a little needy and a little powerless. So if nothing else, I can recognize that and take the lesson.
I know this, attachments seem comforting in the beginning. Whether it is a thought, a belief, a person, a situation, a possession. But at some point when the agreement is not given freely attachments can become my burdens. They stop me from living from a place of choice and freedom. So I work on that. I recognize when I am attached and look at how important that is to me. Can I let it go? Can I be free of that? Can I have a different thought? Can I take a different path? When I can do that I am free to enjoy what life has placed before me. I don’t look to see where this is going, I don’t push the river. I can be in the moment, I can dis attach and enjoy my life. I let go of worry on the future, I release the bindings of the past. So this week that is what I am working on. Dis-attachment and simply staying in the moment. Letting Life take me down the road. Because I can never be empty. The Universe will always fill the spaces I open when I release. I am open to the joy and love coming my way and I am making room for it.
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