My life is like a rumpled bed. I came across those two words “rumpled bed” and wow, they fit. Because my life is not messy, but it is rumpled. You can tell someone lives here. And I think that is kind of awesome. Nothing in my life is perfect, or calm, or smooth. I am rumpled.
So what does that mean to me? Well most people don’t even see the rumples. They are busy living their lives and look past my bumps and folds. On the outside I look pretty together. I have a responsible job, I support myself, my clothes match, I know how to present myself properly, I am fairly healthy, I have friends, a lover, I am on good terms with my family. It all looks good from the outside.
But if I pick it apart I am a little rumpled. Yes I have a good job, but I am stuck and not moving forward. I know that is on me but apparently I don’t care enough to change it, so bumps there. Yes I support myself, but every single month I stretch the pennies to make it, and savings is joke at this point. Lots of rumples there, but no one sees it. I look good, I have lots of clothes, I buy them at the thrift shops, more rumpledness. My health is okay but I don’t go for checkups like I should. And my weight, well, that plagues me. But if I dress appropriately and keep showing up for work and life, well then no one really notices. But I am so very rumpled in this area. I will say family, friends, and lover, those are the smooth parts of my rumpled life but we do hit bumps.
She was made for untidy rooms and rumpled beds.”
― Alexander McCall Smith, The Sunday Philosophy Club
Maybe that is me, because I like my life. I don’t want a messy life, I have had that. But I don’t want it all to be smooth sailing either. Because it is the rumpledness that adds texture. I have to look around for things. I have to challenge myself. I have to work through my life; think, feel, experience it. Right now my apartment is messy. I can look at it and see what needs to be picked up, dusted off, vacuumed. And I will do that this morning. When I come home later everything will be spiffy for a minute. But then I will fill it up again. And the cycle continues. This is how I live my life.
So do we all live rumpled lives? I think so, to different degrees. Some lives are messy and mine has been at times. There is a lot of work there and once the messes were cleared I did not care to revisit it. Those lessons were learned, though I am sure more mess will appear. I am never done with my lessons. But in my daily life, moving through my world, I like It a rumpled, a little scattered. Not quite in control. Not quite as it appears to the world. We are human. When we stop to smell the flowers we might get rained on. When I see smooth sheets and a made bed I think it is there to be laid on and enjoyed. Mess those sheets up. Life is like that. It is there to be lived, all the way.
I think rumpled is a synonym for opportunity to grow. It means there is something in my world I can fix. I can make better, I can grow from. And that keeps my juicy, it keeps me engaged, it keeps me reaching and a little unsatisfied. When I am hungry for something, when my soul calls for it, that is when I make the changes, that is when I smooth the sheets. That is when I feel most alive. I never want my bed to be completely smooth, I always want something to be calling me to grow.
And I hope that is the same for you. Whether you are rumpled everywhere or just a little, those are your places to look at. Those are the sweet spots that take you to another level. I don’t wish mess for you, mess is hard. Mess happens when we ignore the rumples. The rumples are our warning, our signal, our call to change. May we always have a little bump in our road. And may it lift us higher.