I can barely read the news anymore. I try everyday, I get up, I sit down at my computer and I click AOL news or Mail Online or some news source. I start with the headlines, there is always terrible news story headlining the page. 4 people dead, young women kidnapped, a fathers pain, a mother grief. And I scroll down, looking for something, anything that will keep me there. Sometimes I find a compelling story and I start reading it. It gets in my body, it gets in my brain, it gets in my soul. I just cannot handle the news. Its overwhelming, the amount of pain in the world.
Are we too big now? Has the internet opened us up so much that the pain and outcry is global instead of local. I love the internet, it has connected the world in a way that nothing else could ever have done. And I want to know about what is going on in the world, the world has become smaller, and it is my world. But I become overwhelmed with the sadness and the pain, and that does not help my world.
I believe I can change the world by being a light in the world. By being a beacon of love, of hope, of peace. And perhaps the people that benefit most are right here in my life, my town, my community. And those people, oh my gosh, they are so important. These are my people. I can get outraged that children in Nigeria have been abducted but my upset, anger and fear around that do not help me transfer loving energy to people that I actually can help. I need to be able to give the homeless man sitting on the street an honest look from one human to another. I need to be able to soothe an upset co worker with laughter. I need to be able to tell my son, my sister, my friends that life is good and love is here for all. I have to come from a place of peace and love to do that.
So I will continue to try to be informed. And if it is local news, something I can effect, then I am right there. But I no longer apologize, even to myself, for passing by many of the news stories flooding my space, clogging my brain and wounding my heart. I will stand in a place of love, of peace, of joy. I choose to save my energy for those things.