Is the quickest way to peace of mind to love yourself? For some reason this week this statement has been running through my mind “It’s okay if you don’t like me, I like me” I don’t even know why but all of a sudden I am kind of falling in love with myself. And it feels good. It feels peaceful, no struggle, no trying to fix myself. No trying to change for someone or appease someone. No thinking they are right about me and I am wrong. I am simply relaxing into who I am.
I think most people like me, but not everyone. At one point I would have been wondering why.Did I do something, was I offensive, do they disapprove of my lifestyle? How can I fix this? Can I make them like me. Well no I cannot. And is that okay? Yes. You can not like me, you can not want to be my friend. I like me and I will be my friend.
The more I am loving myself the better I am to the world. The better to my friends, my family and the community I live in. It is like stopping a struggle, the struggle to prove myself. I get it that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. And that is okay, there are many flavors out there. And what I know is, I cannot please everyone. I have to start with myself.
There are certain people I have great respect and love for. These people, I do care what they think. I do listen to their opinions and it is important to me that they like me, that they approve of me. But that is a handful of people, and honestly at the end of day if they cannot love me for who I am, I still cannot pull myself in pieces trying to be who they need. They are just going to have to need me to be as I am, and love me anyway. Everyone else, take me, or don’t.
Okay I am not perfect. I see things in myself I want to change. I can jump to conclusions. I am defensive, I can be self absorbed. I will let my emotions rule my head. Sometimes I talk too much and forget to listen. Other times I don’t talk at all and shut down. I will overshare and then undershare. I will take way too much crap and then be mad at others and myself. So I guess I am human.
But I am also amazing. And I don’t even need to list all those things, it is enough that I know them. Also, I am a work in progress. And I am learning more every day and trying to apply it. It is all about baby steps. One after another. I can look back and see progress. I am way less concerned with how the world sees me and more connected to my own vision. I am not afraid of you anymore. I am not afraid of your opinion. I don’t not have to change for you. I am free, or least on my way.
“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
– Louise L. Hay
Someone I loved gave me a box of darkness…. I have spoken of that before. My mother, one of my great teachers. She did not like herself, let alone, love herself. I watched her push the world away one by one. I heard her say so many times things like “Well, I don’t like me.” And I thought, I love you, can’t you see that? Can’t you see how amazing the world could be for you, if you would stop this, and starting loving yourself. She never did, until the very end, she pushed us all away. And I do not want that for myself. I do not want to repeat how my mom lived. I do not want to not love myself. I saw what it could do, it was not beautiful, or loving, or peaceful.
The more I accept and love myself the better I am to myself. I recognize that it makes a difference in the foods I eat, I sleep I get. I seek out people and circumstances that feed my soul with joy. I make sure I relax and not be demanding on myself. I speak well to myself about myself. When I am in a state of self love, I can go out there and change the world. I can go out there spread love. I can be joy. I can be compassionate.
And the struggle to be something we are not can end. When I know I do not have to change for you to like me, I also know you do not have to change a thing for me. You are perfect, you are amazing. You are a beautiful, unique and irreplaceable. You get to celebrate that. We can each shine our light, our perfect light out into the world saying “Here I am, there is no one else like me and for that I am grateful”.
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